Everything Happens For A Reason

People say that everything happens for a reason, and a more skeptical mind might respond with, "What nonsense!" But on the other hand, what a great idea - whether or not it is true! Regardless of religious or philosophical background, this is a belief that anyone can use, even if it's false.

Nobody can prove that everything happens for a reason, and when you consider some of the truly terrible things that happen to people, it sometimes seems almost rude to even suggest it. But its truth or falseness is relatively unimportant compared to its usefulness. You see, as a personal belief, it can not only improve your outlook on life, but make your response to it more productive.

  If you lost your job, for example, and you think there must be a reason, you start looking for it. The result? Perhaps you find your "true purpose" in life, or get a better job, but in any case you don't get demotivated. People who don't think things happen for a reason are probably more likely to be devastated by such "bad luck," rather than use is as an opportunity to better their lives.

I put "true purpose" in quotation marks above because this is another idea that may be nonsense, but can be useful nonetheless. If for some people it gives life more meaning, it may lead to more life satisfaction. Another such belief is one we tell children: "You can be anything you want to be."

Nonsense!

And easily proven wrong. You can think of many reasons why some people can never do some things in life. But the general idea can be very motivating, right? Tell a child there are only some things she can do, and she'll likely start ruling out many things that are really possible for her.

 Such beliefs are what I call "useful lies," because whether they are true or not generally can't be proven (perhaps it's actually true that everything happens for a reason), but they serve a purpose. Some of these can be blatantly silly, but they organize one's thinking in a way that leads to more productive results in both thinking and the action that follows. Someone who believes he was "meant" to be a writer, for example, won't get discouraged from a writing career as easily as someone who just "tries" writing.

 Believe It Or Not - It Doesn't Matter

I use the provocative word "lie" to point out that we often act as though we have some real evidentiary reasons for such beliefs. In that sense, we really do "lie" when we throw them out there like proven facts. Of course, the term "useful lies" also gets attention.

 Of course the "lie" can be false and still work, but what is even more interesting is that you don't even have to believe it for it to work. In other words, it doesn't really have to be a belief. You might think that the idea "anything is possible" is nonsense, but you can still use it as an "operating principle." You keep it in mind and act as though anything is possible. As a result you find more possibilities in life than if you act according to operating principles that are more skeptical.

 Bill Harris, founder of the Centerpointe Institute, is one of the bigger distributors of motivational CDs online. I recently read a true story about how when his company was young, he was sued for a million dollars. The lawsuit was frivolous, but it was going to take a lot of money - which he didn't have - to defend his company. Was there some higher reason or purpose for this disaster? Not likely.

 However, it seems that Harris believes everything happens for a reason, or at least acts according to this belief. He sat down and listed sixty possible benefits of being sued, starting with "I can learn about the legal system." Every one of the benefits on his list came true, he claims, and today his company is bigger and better than ever. This shows the power of a good idea, or "useful lie."

 

Good ideas are like good tools if you use them that way. Use them, then set them down and pick up better ones as needed. There is no need to cling to them as some revealed "truth" to get the value from them. On the other hand, if you really do believe that everything happens for a reason, maybe my concept of "useful lies" has shaken your faith. In that case, just assume there some good reason for this.