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Top 50 Father Quotations

"The greatest gift I ever had Came from God, and I call him Dad! "
-- Anonymous

"Our earth is degenerate in these latter days; bribery and corruption are common; children no longer obey their parents; and the end of the world is evidently approaching."
-- Assyrian clay tablet 2800 B.C.

"The joys of parents are secret, and so are their griefs and fears."
-- Francis Bacon, Sr

"A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. "
-- Enid Bagnold

"We never know the love of our parents for us till we have become parents."
-- Henry Ward Beecher

"I have always looked at life as a voyage, mostly wonderful, sometimes frightening. In my family and friends I have discovered treasure more valuable than gold."
-- Jimmy Buffet

"The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them. "
-- Confucius

"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love the most is soap-on-a-rope."
-- Bill Cosby

"You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together. "
-- Erika Cosby

"Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee. "
-- Margaret Courtney

"Role modeling is the most basic responsibility of parents. Parents are handing life's scripts to their children, scripts that in all likelihood will be acted out for the rest of the children's lives."
-- Stephen R. Covey

"What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father. "
-- Mary Mapes Dodge

11 Ways to Decompress after High Stress

These are some simple and great ways to destress after a tough day or event!

Work really well for me.

  1. Deep breathing. Take a deep breath. Hold it. Now let it out … slowly. Try counting to 10 as you let out your breath. Feel the tension and stress flowing out of you with your breath. Repeat 3-10 times, as necessary.
  2. Self-massage. I like to massage my shoulders, neck, head, lower back. It helps a lot. Even better: get your honey to do it for you! Another great relaxation technique is to tense up and then relax each muscle in your body, one at a time, starting from your toes up to your head.
  3. Take a walk. When I’m in the middle of stress, I like to take a walk around the building. I also do the deep breathing and self-massage mentioned above as I do so. It’s a great way of letting go of tension and allowing yourself to re-focus.
  4. Exercise. This morning, I went to the beach at 5:30 a.m. and went for a swim. It was beautiful at the beach at around sunrise, and the swim was invigorating. Yesterday I went for a bike ride, and the morning before it was a short but refreshing run. Tomorrow I think I’ll do another short run. It really gets the stress out of your system and gives you some quiet time to think when you exercise.
  5. Get outdoors. Even if I didn’t do the swim, just being there at the beach, with my decaf coffee was calming. It’s nice to connect with nature and take in the beauty around you. While you’re there, stretch, yawn, take some deep breaths, and enjoy.
  6. Disconnect. Turn off the phones, turn off the computer, and shut off the outside world for a little while. These things just raise your stress level. Go offline and forget about the online world! You can do it! Except for Karmic Mantra. That’s the only blog you’re allowed to read when you decompress.
  7. Take a day off. That’s what I’m doing today. Don’t tell my boss. I have lots of vacation and sick leave saved up, so it’s not a problem, actually. I’m just going to veg out and allow myself to calm down and center.
  8. Meditate. You don’t need to be trained to have a short, relaxing meditation session. Just sit somewhere quiet, close your eyes, relax, and focus on your breathing. Try to concentrate on it coming into your body, and then going out. When other things pop into your head (they will, inevitably), just acknowledge them (don’t try to force them out) and allow them to leave, and then focus again on your breathing. Do this for as long as you can, and then take a couple of cleansing breaths, and get up a new person.
  9. Read. I like to throw myself on the couch with a good book. Well, not necessarily a good book — a page-turner. Something that will engross me completely, take my mind off everything else. John Grisham works well for me, as does William Gibson. And Terry Pratchett. Or Ann Patchett, for that matter. And Stephen King. Just get lost in their world.
  10. Love. I like to spend time with my kids or my wife. Just snuggle with them, focus on them, forget about the world. They are all that’s important, and sometimes I need that reminder.
  11. Take a nap. One of my favorites. Just take a 30-minute nap, and you’re re-set! A nap is like a restart button for life.

 

How to Stop Procrastinating

Procrastination can lead to many problems — tests failed, weight gained, relationships weakened.

But you can change your ways.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. ~Don Marquis

Here are some tips and steps to get you going!

Steps

  • Look at the effects of procrastination versus not procrastinating. What rewards lie ahead if you get it done? What are the effects if you continue to put it off? Which situation has better effects? Chances are, you will benefit more in the long term from facing the task head on.
    • Count how much time you spend on activities procrastinating. You may be shocked by the amount of time wasted simply watching TV.
  • Set reasonable goals. Plan your goals carefully, allowing enough time to complete them.
  • Break the task down into smaller parts. How can you approach it step by step? If you can concentrate on achieving one goal at a time, the task may become less of a burden.
  • Get started whether you “feel” like it or not. Going from doing nothing to doing something is often the hardest part of overcoming procrastination. Once you start, it will be easier to continue.
  • Ask for help. You don’t always have to do it alone.
  • Don’t expect perfection. No one is perfect. It’s better to try your best than to do nothing at all.
  • Reward yourself. The reward that lies at the end of a long road to a goal may be great, but while you’re on the way, it may not always be enough to motivate you. Remind yourself-with a break, a movie, some kind of treat you like-that you are making successful progress.
  • Don’t let yourself be distracted - by taking control and saying “no” to picking up the guitar, playing a DVD or texting your friends, you build confidence in your ability.
  • Other time traps to avoid: saying yes when you don’t have the time, studying when you’re tired or in a distracting location, not thinking ahead, not curbing your social time, and finally, taking on too many tasks and projects.

Tips

  • You may want to take a course in time management.
  • Several books have been written on procrastination. Here are the titles: “Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It” by Jane B. Burka, Lenora M., Ph.D. Yuen, “The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play” by Neil Fiore and for students, “Beat Procrastination and Make the Grade : A Life-Saving Guide for Students” by Linda Sapadin, Jack Maguire. These are highly recommended.
  • Of course, not everyone enjoys reading - a very good audio CD/cassette is, “Make Your Mind Work for You : New Mind Power Techniques to Improve Memory, Beat Procrastination and More” by Joan Minninger.
  • If you hate to read and begin to procrastinate think of it this way. If you have to read a 276 page book divide it into the amount of time you have. If you have about 2 weeks, reading about 21 pages a day is much less overwhelming.

 

Know when good enough is good enough

Know when good enough is good enough

 

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Sometimes we do not know when to stop.  We keep revising an idea, a blog, a plan and are never satisfied enough to actually push the button and release our work.  Why and when should we settle for "good enough," why do we sometimes get caught seeking perfection, and how can we find the right balance?

 

Why consider "good enough?" 

 

The graph at the head of this article shows one reason.  For a relatively small effort (time), we can reach the level of good enough (the smiling face in my graph).  At some point beyond that, though, the incremental improvements become vanishingly small while effort continues to grow.  That part of the curve brings us low R.O.T.I.  And if we continue to pursue perfection beyond that point, returns become negative.  Why?  Because we have taken so long that the opportunity has passed us by (or been grabbed by someone else).

 

If you can learn to do a good enough job, make a good enough decision, you will get more done over the long run.  Your stress will be lower, you will sleep better and you might even make more money.

 

So what keeps us from settling for good enough?  It might be fear - fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being wrong, fear of emotional discomfort. 

 

To get beyond the need for perfection:

 

  • Decide up front how good your work must be.  Is this one of those rare instances (open heart surgery, for example) that calls for perfection?  Or is good enough good enough?  Choose when to excel and when to settle.
  • Set standards for good enough - measures that will tell you when you have reached "good enough."
  • Just get started.  Do not try to write a perfect book (or blog article) on your first pass.  Just get words on paper.  Do not wait until you are a perfect coach to start working with clients.  Do not wait until you perfectly understand that new selling technique to start trying it with potential customers.
  • When tempted to go beyond those standards, ask yourself how much improvement you can make, how much effort it will take, and who will care if you make that effort.

 

If you pursue "good enough" carefully and mindfully, you will succeed at being excellent.  Try it!

 

Love Secrets....

The First Secret - The Power Of Thought
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her when you meet her.


The Second Secret - The Power Of Respect
You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect asks yourself, "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself "What do I respect about them?"

The Third Secret - The Power Of Giving
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.


The Fourth Secret - The Power Of Friendship
To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring
love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.


The Fifth Secret - The Power Of Touch
Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.


The Sixth Secret - The Power Of Letting Go
If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life."


The Seventh Secret - The Power Of
Communication
When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: "I Love you." Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and.. Why are you waiting?


The Eighth Secret - The Power Of CommitmentIf you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to
someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.


The Ninth Secret - The Power Of Passion
Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences when you felt passionate. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The Tenth Secret - The Power Of Trust
Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels wrapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship
with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, "Do I trust them completely and unreservedly?" If the answer is "no", think carefully before making a commitment.

Tips for Interview and Job search

Being prepared is half the battle.
If you are one of those executive types unhappy at your present post
and embarking on a New Year's resolution to find a new one, here's a
helping hand. The job interview is considered to be the most
critical aspect of every expedition that brings you face-to- face
with the future boss. One must prepare for it with the same tenacity
and quickness as one does for a fencing tournament or a chess
match.

1. Tell me about yourself.
Since this is often the opening question in an interview, be
extracareful that you don't run off at the mouth. Keep your answer
to a minute or two at most. Cover four topics: early years,
education, work history, and recent career experience. Emphasize
this last subject. Remember that this is likely to be a warm-up
question. Don't waste your best points on it.

2. What do you know about our organization?
You should be able to discuss products or services, revenues,
reputation, image, goals, problems, management style, people,
history and philosophy. But don't act as if you know everything
about the place. Let your answer show that you have taken the time
to do some research, but don't overwhelm the interviewer, and make
it clear that you wish to learn more.

You might start your answer in this manner: "In my job search, I've
investigated a number of companies.

Yours is one of the few that interests me, for these reasons..."

Give your answer a positive tone. Don't say, "Well, everyone tells
me that you're in all sorts of trouble, and that's why I'm here",
even if that is why you're there.

3. Why do you want to work for us?
The deadliest answer you can give is "Because I like people." What
else would you like-animals?

Here, and throughout the interview, a good answer comes from having
done your homework so that you can speak in terms of the company's
needs. You might say that your research has shown that the company
is doing things you would like to be involved with, and that it's
doing them in ways that greatly interest you. For example, if the
organization is known for strong management, your answer should
mention that fact and show that you would like to be a part of that
team. If the company places a great deal of emphasis on research and
development, emphasize the fact that you want to create new things
and that you know this is a place in which such activity is
encouraged. If the organization stresses financial controls, your
answer should mention a reverence for numbers.

If you feel that you have to concoct an answer to this question -
if, for example, the company stresses research, and you feel that
you should mention it even though it really doesn't interest you-
then you probably should not be taking that interview, because you
probably shouldn't be considering a job with that organization.

Your homework should include learning enough about the company to
avoid approaching places where you wouldn't be able -or wouldn't
want- to function. Since most of us are poor liars, it's difficult
to con anyone in an interview. But even if you should succeed at it,
your prize is a job you don't really want.

4. What can you do for us that someone else can't?
Here you have every right, and perhaps an obligation, to toot your
own horn and be a bit egotistical. Talk about your record of getting
things done, and mention specifics from your resume or list of
career accomplishments. Say that your skills and interests, combined
with this history of getting results, make you valuable. Mention
your ability to set priorities, identify problems, and use your
experience and energy to solve them.

5. What do you find most attractive about this position?
What seems least attractive about it?

List three or four attractive factors of the job, and mention a
single, minor, unattractive item.

6. Why should we hire you?
Create your answer by thinking in terms of your ability, your
experience, and your energy. (Seequestion 4.)

7. What do you look for in a job?
Keep your answer oriented to opportunities at this organization.
Talk about your desire to perform and be recognized for your
contributions. Make your answer oriented toward opportunity rather
than personal security.

8. Please give me your defintion of [the position for which you
are being interviewed].
Keep your answer brief and taskoriented. Think in in terms of
responsibilities and accountability. Make sure that you really do
understand what the position involves before you attempt an answer.
If you are not certain. ask the interviewer; he or she may answer
the question for you.

9. How long would it take you to make a meaningful contribution
to our firm?
Be realistic. Say that, while you would expect to meet pressing
demands and pull your own weight from the first day, it might take
six months to a year before you could expect to know the
organization and its needs well enough to make a major contribution.

10. How long would you stay with us?
Say that you are interested in a career with the organization, but
admit that you would have to continue to feel challenged to remain
with any organization. Think in terms of, "As long as we both feel
achievement-oriented."

11. Your resume suggests that you may be over-qualified or too
experienced for this position. What's Your opinion?
Emphasize your interest in establishing a long-term association with
the organization, and say that you assume that if you perform well
in his job, new opportunities will open up for you. Mention that a
strong company needs a strong staff. Observe that experienced
executives are always at a premium. Suggest that since you are so
wellqualified, the employer will get a fast return on his
investment. Say that a growing, energetic company can never have too
much talent.

12. What is your management style?
You should know enough about the company's style to know that your
management style will complement it. Possible styles include: task
oriented (I'll enjoy problem-solving identifying what's wrong,
choosing a solution and implementing it"), results-oriented ("Every
management decision I make is determined by how it will affect the
bottom line"), or even paternalistic ("I'm committed to taking care
of my subordinates and pointing them in the right direction").

A participative style is currently quite popular: an open-door
method of managing in which you get things done by motivating people
and delegating responsibility.

As you consider this question, think about whether your style will
let you work hatppily and effectively within the organization.

13. Are you a good manager? Can you give me some examples? Do
you feel that you have top managerial potential?
Keep your answer achievementand ask-oriented. Rely on examples from
your career to buttress your argument. Stress your experience and
your energy.

14. What do you look for when You hire people?
Think in terms of skills. initiative, and the adaptability to be
able to work comfortably and effectively with others. Mention that
you like to hire people who appear capable of moving up in the
organization.

15. Have you ever had to fire people? What were the reasons,
and how did you handle the situation?
Admit that the situation was not easy, but say that it worked out
well, both for the company and, you think, for the individual. Show
that, like anyone else, you don't enjoy unpleasant tasks but that
you can resolve them efficiently and -in the case of firing someone-
humanely.

16. What do you think is the most difficult thing about being
a manager or executive?
Mention planning, execution, and cost-control. The most difficult
task is to motivate and manage employess to get something planned
and completed on time and within the budget.

17. What important trends do you see in our industry?
Be prepared with two or three trends that illustrate how well you
understand your industry. You might consider technological
challenges or opportunities, economic conditions, or even regulatory
demands as you collect your thoughts about the direction in which
your business is heading.

18. Why are you leaving (did you leave) your present (last) job?
Be brief, to the point, and as honest as you can without hurting
yourself. Refer back to the planning phase of your job search. where
you considered this topic as you set your reference statements. If
you were laid off in an across-the-board cutback, say so; otherwise,
indicate that the move was your decision, the result of your action.
Do not mention personality conflicts.

The interviewer may spend some time probing you on this issue,
particularly if it is clear that you were terminated. The "We agreed
to disagree" approach may be useful. Remember hat your references
are likely to be checked, so don't concoct a story for an interview.

19. How do you feel about leaving all your benefits to find a
new job?
Mention that you are concerned, naturally, but not panicked. You are
willing to accept some risk to find the right job for yourself.
Don't suggest that security might interest you more than getting the
job done successfully.

20. In your current (last) position, what features do (did)
you like the most? The least?
Be careful and be positive. Describe more features that you liked
than disliked. Don't cite personality problems. If you make your
last job sound terrible, an interviewer may wonder why you remained
there until now.

21. What do you think of your boss?
Be as positive as you can. A potential boss is likely to wonder if
you might talk about him in similar terms at some point in the
future.

22. Why aren't you earning more at your age?
Say that this is one reason that you are conducting this job search.
Don't be defensive.

23. What do you feel this position should pay?
Salary is a delicate topic. We suggest that you defer tying yourself
to a precise figure for as long as you can do so politely. You might
say, "I understand that the range for this job is between Rs.______
and Rs.______. That seems appropriate for the job as I understand
it." You might answer the question with a question: "Perhaps you can
help me on this one. Can you tell me if there is a range for similar
jobs in the organization?"

If you are asked the question during an initial screening interview,
you might say that you feel you need to know more about the
position's responsibilities before you could give a meaningful
answer to that question. Here, too, either by asking the interviewer
or search executive (if one is involved), or in research done as
part of your homework, you can try to find out whether there is a
salary grade attached to the job. If there is, and if you can live
with it, say that the range seems right to you.

If the interviewer continues to probe, you might say, "You know that
I'm making Rs.______ now. Like everyone else, I'd like to improve on
that figure, but my major interest is with the job itself." Remember
that the act of taking a new job does not, in and of itself, make
you worth more money.

If a search firm is involved, your contact there may be able to help
with the salary question. He or she may even be able to run
interference for you. If, for instance, he tells you what the
position pays, and you tell him that you are earning that amount now
and would Like to do a bit better, he might go back to the employer
and propose that you be offered an additional 10%.

If no price range is attached to the job, and the interviewer
continues to press the subject, then you will have to restpond with
a number. You cannot leave the impression that it does not really
matter, that you'll accept whatever is offered. If you've been
making Rs. 3,00,000a year, you can't say that a Rs. 2,00,000 figure
would be fine without sounding as if you've given up on yourself.
(If you are making a radical career change, however, this kind of
disparity may be more reasonable and understandable.)

Don't sell yourself short, but continue to stress the fact that the
job itself is the most important thing in your mind. The interviewer
may be trying to determine just how much you want the job. Don't
leave the impression that money is the only thing that is important
to you. Link questions of salary to the work itself.

But whenever possible, say as little as you can about salary until
you reach the "final" stage of the interview process. At that point,
you know that the company is genuinely interested in you and that it
is likely to be flexible in salary negotiations.

24. What are your long-range goals?
Refer back to the planning phase of your job search. Don't
answer, "I want the job you've advertised." Relate your goals to the
company you are interviewing: 'in a firm like yours, I would like
to..."

25. How successful do you you've been so far?
Say that, all-in-all, you're happy with the way your career has
progressed so far. Given the normal ups and downs of life, you feel
that you've done quite well and have no complaints.

Present a positive and confident picture of yourself, but don't
overstate your case. An answer like, "Everything's wonderful! I
can't think of a time when things were going better! I'm overjoyed!"
is likely to make an interviewer wonder whether you're trying to
fool him . . . or yourself. The most convincing confidence is
usually quiet confidence.

Job Search Tips
How prepared are you for planning and conducting an effective job
search?
Successful job seekers must have both good information and well-
developed job hunting skills.
Three important factors for a successful job search are
An awareness of your goals and skills
An understanding of the labor market, and
A well planned job search campaign.

Experts recommend that you begin an active job search six to nine
months in advance of your target employment date.
You can begin the process by visiting the Career Center early (for
students, nine months to a year before graduation).




Top
Ten Time Saving Tips to Speed Up Your Job Search
Be Prepared.

Have a telephone answering machine or voice mail system in place and
sign-up for a professional sounding email address. Put your cell
phone number on your resume so you can follow up in a timely manner.

Be More Than Prepared.
Always have an up-to-date resume ready to send - even if you are not
currently looking for work. You never know when an opportunity that
is too good to pass up might come along. Have a supply of good
quality resume paper, envelopes and stamps on hand.

Don't Wait.
If you are laid-off, file for unemployment benefits right away. You
may be able to file online or by phone. Waiting could delay your
benefits check.

Get Help.
Utilize free or inexpensive services that provide career counseling
and job search assistance such as college career offices, state
Department of Labor offices or your local public library.

Create Your Own Templates.
Have email and paper versions of your resume and cover letter ready
to edit. That way you can change the content to match the
requirements of the job you're applying for, but, the contact
information and your opening and closing paragraphs won't need to be
changed.

Use Job Search Engines.
Search the job search engines. Use the sites that search the major
job banks, employer sites and electronic news groups for you.

Jobs by Email.
Let the jobs come to you. Use job search agents to sign up and
receive job listings by email. All the major job sites have search
agents and some web sites specialize in sending announcements.

Use Your Network.
Be cognizant of the fact that many, if not most, job openings aren't
advertised. Tell everyone you know that you are looking for work.
Ask if they can help




Top
The following list summarizes the most important Boolean rules.
To get the best results from any specific job database, however,
study its Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) and use its online
tutorial, if one is provided.

Rule #1.
The characteristics (i.e., the individual words, terms or phrases)
that you use to describe your dream job are called "key words" on
the Internet. They are normally entered in all lower case letters
because capitalization makes them cases sensitive. In other words,
if you capitalize a key word, the computer will identify only those
jobs where that word is capitalized. If you use all lower case
letters, the computer will identify every job that contains the
word, whether it is capitalized or not.

Rule #2.
To link two characteristics together, both of which are required in
your dream job, use the Boolean operator AND. Boolean operators are
normally expressed in all capital letters. In the example above, you
might use the following expression to tell the computer what kind of
job you want: $50,000 AND hospitality. This expression tells the
computer that you want it to identify any job in its database that
offers both characteristics. It must pay $50,000, and it must be in
the hospitality industry. If either one of those factors is missing,
you do not want to see the job.

Rule #3.
To tell the computer that the characteristic for which you are
looking is a phrase rather than a single word, use quotation marks.
For example: "facility manager" AND Rs.50,000 AND hospitality.

Rule #4.
To link two characteristics together, either one of which is
acceptable in your dream job, use the Boolean operator OR. For
example, Milwaukee OR "Green Bay". Note that using capital letters
with city or state names is acceptable as they are seldom expressed
any other way.

Rule #5.
To link two characteristics together when they are part of a longer
set of characteristics, use parentheses. For example, "facility
manager" AND RS.50,000 AND hospitality AND (Milwaukee OR "Green
Bay").

Rule #6.
To account for the fact that different people use different terms to
express the same idea, always include any synonyms of your
characteristics and, wherever possible, use a Boolean operator
called a wildcard.




Top
The 7 Bad Habits of Ineffective Job Seekers
Habits can be good for you. As Stephen Covey pointed out in his
landmark book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, the right
behavior patterns can propel you to great success. Unfortunately,
however, there's also a dark side to habits. Habits can be good, and
they can be bad. And, the wrong behavior patterns can constrain your
opportunities and, ultimately, derail your advancement in the world
of work. What are the bad habits of online job search? With a nod to
Dr. Covey, I think there are seven.

I call them The 7 Bad Habits of Ineffective Job Seekers. They are:

Habit #1: Limiting the time and effort you invest in your job search
Habit #2: Limiting the research you do to plan your search campaign
Habit #3: Limiting your search to a handful of the same job boards
Habit #4: Limiting your application to clicking on the Submit button
Habit #5: Limiting your use of the Internet to reading job postings
Habit #6: Limiting the care you take with your communications
Habit #7: Limiting the preparation you do for employer interactions



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Details on these bad habits :

Habit #1:
Limiting the time and effort you invest in your job search
As the old axiom goes, looking for a job is a full time job. That's
true whether you're conducting your search online or off. A job
search on the Internet, however, exposes you to many potential
distractions that are not found in the real world. There's e-mail
and browsing, chats and discussion forums, online poker and other
games, and a host of other forms of entertainment, exploration and
communication. And the key to job search success is to put them all
aside. You must dramatically limit the time you spend on such
activities and maximize the time you spend using the Internet's job
search resources.

Habit #2:
Limiting the research you do to plan your search campaign
The #1 reason people don't work out when they're hired by an
employer is not that they can't do the job, but that they don't fit
in. In other words, they take the right job with the wrong employer.
Doing careful, thorough research helps you avoid the negative
consequences of such a situation: When you go to work for the wrong
employer, your performance goes down which can, in turn, hurt your
standing in your field; you waste time that could have been spent
searching for your dream opportunity—the right job with the right
employer; and you risk losing that opportunity to someone else who's
active in the job market. To put it another way, inadequate research
virtually guarantees an inadequate work experience. And the
alternative is right at your fingertips. Use the Internet to assess
alternative employer's culture, management, values and performance,
and the focus your search on those organizations where you're likely
to feel comfortable (and do your best work).

Habit #3:
Limiting your search to a handful of the same job boards
There are over 40,000 job boards in operation on the Internet. In
addition to the ones that you've seen advertised, there are
thousands and thousands of others that you may not have heard about.
Collectively, they post over two million new openings every month.
To find your dream job online, therefore, you have to use enough
sites to cover the job market and the right ones to satisfy your
search objective. The formula 2GP + 3N + 2D will ensure you do that.
It involves using two general purpose sites that offer opportunities
in a broad array of professions, industries and locations; three
niche sites, including one that specializes in your career field,
one that specializes in your industry, and one that specializes in
the geographic area where you want to live; and two distinction
sites that focus on one or more of your personal attributes (e.g.,
age, gender, ethnicity, college, military service). I call it the
7:1 Method; use seven of the right sites to find the one right job
for you.

Habit #4:
Limiting your application to clicking on the Submit button
The competition for jobs today, particularly the best positions, is
simply too tough for you to do nothing more than show up online and
submit your resume. If you find your dream job and want to position
yourself for serious consideration by the employer, you have to
practice the "application two-step." Step 1 involves submitting your
credentials exactly as specified by the employer and exactly for
that job. It's a test to see if you can follow instructions and will
take the time to tailor your resume for the position you want. Step
2 involves networking to set yourself apart from the horde of other
applicants who are also likely to submit their resume for that
opening. Your goal is to find a personal or professional contact who
works for the employer and will walk your resume in the door of the
HR Department and lay it on the desk of the recruiter assigned to
fill your dream job.

Habit #5:
Limiting your use of the Internet to reading job postings
As in the real world, recruitment ads posted online reveal only a
portion of the job market. There are many more openings, including
some of the best positions, that aren't advertised. To find this so-
called "hidden job market," you have to make contact and develop
relationships with others online. That's called electronic
networking. It's done by participating in discussion forums and
bulletin boards hosted on the sites of such groups as your
professional association and college alumni organization. To get the
most out of your involvement, practice the Golden Rule of
Networking: Give as good as you get. Share your knowledge and
expertise with others in these online discussions, so that they will
be inclined to share their knowledge of job openings and their
connections in the workforce with you.

Habit #6:
Limiting the care you take with your communications
E-mail is often viewed as an informal communication medium where
typos and slang are not only appropriate, but expected. When you're
looking for a job, however, e-mail is strictly a business
communication. Every message makes an impression on the recruiter
and other representatives of the employer who receive it, and that
impression becomes a part of the data used to evaluate you. To make
the right impression, carefully edit and proofread every message
before you send it off. Don't use stilted or flowery language, but
do be formal and professional in what you write. Take the time and
make the effort to eliminate grammatical errors and misspellings and
ensure that your points are clearly and accurately expressed. Doing
so tells the employer that you take pride in what you do, and that
attribute makes you a stronger candidate.

Habit #7:
Limiting the preparation you do for employer interactions
In today's highly competitive job market, the interview begins in
the first nanosecond of the first contact with an employer. That
means you have to be well prepared and at the top of your game
virtually all of the time. What does that entail? First, make sure
that you thoroughly investigate each employer to which you apply.
Visit its Web-site, use a browser to search for information
published by other sources, and check out the commentary and
research available at such sites as Vault.com and Wetfeet.com. Then,
use the formal and informal educational resources on the Internet to
stay at the state-of-the-art in your field and up-to-the-minute on
your industry. Finally, use the information and insights you've
acquired to hone your ability to articulate the contribution you
will make to the employer, during every interaction you have with
its representatives. All of us get into a rut from time-to-time. We
put ourselves on autopilot and fall back on habits. It's a benign
way to relieve some of the workload and pressure in today's
demanding business environment. When you're looking for a new or
better job, however, those ruts can be harmful; they can lead to
behavior that limits your opportunity and potential success. They
are the 7 bad habits of ineffective job seekers—the ruts in the road
to your dream job.




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Review the following list of values and check those most important
to you.
Then rank your top five values in order of priority.

01. Job security

02. Working as part of a team

03. Working independently with little supervision

04. Making a contribution

05. Professional status

06. Mental challenge

07. Pleasant surroundings

08. Challenging, stimulating co-workers

09. Different tasks to accomplish daily

10. Financial rewards

11. Creating something

12. Ability to advance


Preparing Your Resume or Curriculum Vitae
The foundation of your job search should be a good, solid resume
(which may also be called a curriculum vitae or vita). The
curriculum vitae describes in detail one's professional career over
the course of one's life, including both work experiences and
qualifications. It is primarily used when pursuing opportunities in
an academic setting. Although the curriculum vitae and resume have
the same function, the differences between the two are length and
format. In the business world, the standard resume is usually no
more than two pages in length. An effective resume gets your foot in
the door and it may lead to personal interviews.

Your resume should be detailed enough to give employers the
information necessary to assess your qualifications for the job
opening. At the same time, it should be concise. It's essential that
your resume be word processed; if you can't word process it
yourself, hire a word processor. The few dollars you pay to have it
word processed will prove to be one of the best investments you will
make. You may use your resume for several different purposes:

include one with a "blind"' letter of inquiry about a job opening;
send one with a cover letter in response to an advertised position;
attach one to a standard job application; or
take it with you on a job interview.

Six steps are used to conduct an effective job search
1. Begin with Self-Assessment
2. Research and Explore Career Options
3. Choose a Career Field, then Target Employers
4. Prepare Job Search Materials and Develop Job Search Skills
5. Plan and Conduct Job Search Campaign
6. Obtain Offer and Continue to Develop Your Career Action Plan

A Leader Should Know....

(Former President of India APJ Abdul Kalam at Wharton India Economic forum , Philadelphia) 
  
Question: Could you give an example, from your own experience, of how leaders should manage failure? 
  
  
Kalam: Let me tell you about my experience. In 1973 I became the project director of India's satellite launch  
vehicle program,



 commonly called the SLV-3. Our goal was to put India's "Rohini" satellite into orbit by 1980.  
I was given funds and human resources -- but was told clearly that by 1980 we had to launch the satellite into space.  
Thousands of people worked together in scientific and technical teams towards that goal. 
   By 1979 -- I think the month was August -- we thought we were ready. As the project director, I went to the control 
center for the launch. At four minutes before the satellite launch, the computer began to go through the checklist of  
items that needed to be checked. One minute later, the computer program put the launch on hold; the display showed that 
some control components were not in order. My experts -- I had four or five of them with me -- told me not to worry; 
they had done their calculations and there was enough reserve fuel. So I bypassed the computer, switched to manual mode, 
and launched the rocket. In the first stage, everything worked fine. In the second stage, a problem developed. Instead of 
the satellite going into orbit, the whole rocket system plunged into the Bay of Bengal. It was a big failure. 
That day, the chairman of the Indian Space Research Organization, Prof. Satish Dhawan, had called a press conference.  
The launch was at 7:00 am, and the press conference -- where journalists from around the world were present -- was  
at 7:45 am at ISRO's satellite launch range in Sriharikota [in Andhra Pradesh in southern India]. Prof. Dhawan,  
the leader of the organization, conducted the press conference himself. He took responsibility for the failure -- he said  
that the team had worked very hard, but that it needed more technological support. He assured the media that in another  
year, the team would definitely succeed. Now, I was the project director, and it was my failure,



 but instead, he took  
responsibility for the failure as chairman of the organization. 
  
    The next year, in July 1980, we tried again to launch the satellite -- and this time we succeeded. The whole nation was  
jubilant. Again, there was a press conference. Prof. Dhawan called me aside and told me, "You conduct the press conference  
today."



 
  
    I learned a very important lesson that day. When failure occurred, the leader of the organization owned that failure.  
When success came, he gave it to his team. The best management lesson I have learned did not come to me from reading  
a book; it came from that experience.


 

Layers Of Feeling - Coping With Passive Aggression

Many people are taught from a young age to suppress feelings commonly regarded as negative, such as anger, resentment, fear, and sorrow.

Those who cannot or will not express these emotions tend to engage in passive-aggressive behaviours that provide them with a means of redirecting their feelings.

Passive aggression can take many forms: People who feel guilty saying “no” may continually break their promises because they couldn't’t say no when they meant it.

Others will substitute snide praise for a slur to distance themselves from the intense emotions they feel.

More often than not, such behaviour is a cry for help uttered by those in need of compassion and gentle guidance.

When we recognise passive-aggressive patterns in the behaviour of others, we should never allow ourselves to be drawn into a struggle for power.

 

Passive aggression is most often wielded by those who feel powerless in the face of what they perceive as negative emotions because they hope to avoid confronting their true feelings.

They feel they are in control because they do not display overt emotion and often cannot understand how they have alienated their peers.

If someone close to us shows signs of frustration or annoyance but claims nothing is amiss, we can point out that their tone of voice or gestures are communicating a different message and invite them to confide in us.

When we feel slighted by a backhanded compliment, it is important that we calmly explain how the jibe made us feel and why.

And when an individual continually breaks their promises, we can help them understand that they are free to say no if they are unwilling to be of service.

As you learn to detect passive aggression, you may be surprised to see a hint of it in yourself.

Coping with the natural human tendency to veil intense emotions can be as simple as reminding yourself that expressing your true feelings is healthy.

The emotions typically regarded as negative will frequently be those that inspire you to change yourself and your life for the better, whereas passive-aggressive behaviour is a means of avoiding change.

 When you deal constructively with your feelings, you can put them behind you and move forward unencumbered by unexplored emotion.

 

 

**************************************************************************

He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

 

 If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember.

 

 Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.

 

 It is not fair to ask of others what you are unwilling to do yourself.

 

 A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.

 

 People always call it luck when you have acted more sensibly than they have.

 

 The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.

 

 Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

 

 Drop the question what tomorrow may bring, and count as profit everyday that fate allows you.

 

 No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.

 

 A suspicious mind always looks on the black side of things.

 

 Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.

 

 Be silent as to services you have rendered, but speak of favours you have received.

 

 

It is not what we eat ,but what we digest ,that makes us strong;


not what we gain ,,but what we save ,that make us rich;

 

not what we read ,but what we remember,that makes us learned;

and not what we profess ,but what we practise ,that gives us Integrity.



How to Keep Your Spiritual Wits About You in a Romantic Relationship

How to Keep Your Spiritual Wits About You in a Romantic Relationship

Romantic love is not for the weak of heart. It is exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time. It is here that we hopefully have our most emotionally and sexually intimate moments with another human being. It is here that our most painful emotional wounds eventually surface in order to be exorcised. And it is here that we most deeply get to know ourselves.

There are millions of books out there on different ways to attract your soul mate and how to make them not run for the hills once he/she gets there. I?ve read them in my search for that elusive key to unlock the mysteries of romance, and I will tell you that manipulation and control never create a meaningful and lasting relationship, and they certainly will not bring you peace. So what does?

Well, I am still not so sure. Actually, this article is a compilation of my experience of what works and what doesn't work in the world of love, at least for me. Love is a tough nut to crack. There are always new mountains to climb and valleys to transverse. It?s a never-ending learning process.

I do not believe that there is an exact recipe for success for romantic relationships that fits every human being, as we are all very different. But, I do believe that there are several key factors that help keep human beings centered when they are brave enough to enter into a relationship.

In no particular order, I present them to you below:

~Practice Self-Acceptance~

Nobody is perfect. As human beings we have many different pieces that make up the entire puzzle of who we are. It is imperative that we explore the different aspects of our personalities: the good, the bad, and the ugly, in order to come to understand and have compassion for ourselves, so we can fully experience real love.

Relationships are the great mirrors to our souls. Our "stuff" will always be reflected back to us through our intimate partners. Soul mates push buttons. If there are things about ourselves that we do not accept, we cannot expect our intimate partners to accept them either. It?s spiritually impossible. There are so many rewards that come with self-acceptance, one of them being less emotional walls to scale in a relationship, which means there will be much more positive energy circulating within the partnership.

~Focus on Your Essence~

There is a lot of pressure in society today to look and be a certain way. Having the body of a Victoria Secret?s model, a big paycheck, a high-class car, designer clothes, etc?are not the things of which an authentic relationship are built. They might be attractive and enticing, but they have no long-term staying power if you want the real thing.

We fall in love with each other?s essence. Your essence is an intangible item that is not of this world. It is very powerful and at it?s core, always beautiful. It is your soul.

When you focus on your essence, you begin to realize that you don?t have to be or look a certain way, or have the best toys, to be the most magnetic person in the room. When you focus on your essence you are less likely to forget who you are, as many of us do, when you begin to fall in love with someone. This keeps the dynamics of the relationship much more interesting and positive. You don't lose you.

~Think Open Hand/Open Heart~

In simple terms: do not try to control your partner or the outcome of the relationship. This is tough, as we all have a picture in our minds of the way we think things are "supposed" to be, and can get pretty nasty and insecure when they start looking differently.

Control is a major issue in many relationships. It is very scary to take your hands off the wheel when you have an emotional investment in a relationship, but it is imperative to do so. Trying to control your relationship will most likely elicit the exact opposite response of what you would like to happen in the first place. Intuitively we know this, yet we do it anyway. We just can?t seem to help ourselves, but we must! I am speaking from experience. This is where my wounds surface with a vengeance.

When I find myself wallowing in this dark place now, I tell myself to think "open hand/open heart." This means no clutching, emotionally or physically.

I visualize the essence of the relationship as a room and in this room is a door and several windows. In an unhealthy relationship, the doors and the windows are closed tightly. No air is circulating, and eventually the people in the room (relationship) either emotionally die or break one of the windows to run for the hills in order to be free.

A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows wide open. Plenty of air is circulating and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this environment. Keep your doors and windows open. If the person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world, will not make them leave. Trust that truth.

~Have Other Passions Besides Him/Her~

Nothing will suck the life out of romance then having no other interests in this world other then your mate.

Get a hobby! Do the things you love to do. By nurturing yourself, you will have more to give your partner. Learn to play golf, play your favorite sport, write a book, take up tennis, go back to school, or read a new book. Just do something other then focusing on the relationship. In other words, get a life!

~Go for Friendship?See his/her Soul~

Sexual chemistry is an amazing phenomenon as far as I am concerned. It is wonderful, fabulous, incredibly important, and all those sorts of things, but it will not sustain a relationship forever.

Love changes over time. The initial hot passion you might feel for a person at the beginning of a relationship will mellow out over time and be replaced by something much more magnificent.

Being true friends with your intimate partner enriches all facets of the relationship, including sex. When you look at your partner, try to see beyond the physical and peer into his/her soul. Connect with them on a soul level, and you will find that communication will flow more freely, and the trust level between you will increase. Most importantly you will build your relationship on the most solid foundation that exists in the universe today...friendship.

~Love Lives Inside Of You! Nothing Outside Yourself Will Bring You Happiness~

You and only you are responsible for your happiness. Many times we unconsciously seek a romantic relationship to fill the empty spaces in our lives and hearts. This never works. In fact, we end up setting ourselves up for major disappointment when we come from this empty place.

No one, no matter how wonderful they are, can meet all of our expectations at every moment of every day. It is impossible. So what are we to do?

Stop looking for love in all the wrong places! Love lives inside of you. If you rely on yourself to fill the empty spaces, you will take a lot of pressure off of your spouse, which in turn can only enhance the relationship.

Fill the empty spaces in your heart. Love yourself. Accept yourself. Comfort yourself. Be what you are seeking to find. Be whole on your own, and then share that wholeness with your partner.

~Live in the Moment~

Hold a vision for your relationship, but be flexible. When you are spending time with your partner?spend time with your partner. Many times we allow our minds to be off in the distant uncertain future somewhere, wondering what is going to happen with the relationship six months, one year or five years from now, instead of enjoying the present moment. This frame of mind breeds insecurity, In the song All the Way, one of my favorite Frank Sinatra tunes, Frank sings, "who knows where the road may lead us, only a fool would say." Listen to Frank. Don't worry about where the road may lead, just be present for the trip.

We must have faith that the universe knows what it is doing. Let go and enjoy the journey, knowing that wherever you end up will be the perfect place.

~Walk Through Your Wounds When They Surface~

There is nothing like an intimate relationship to push your hot buttons. A true mate will bring your issues to the surface for sure. As uncomfortable as this is, it is actually a wonderful thing. If fact, if you are with someone, that doesn?t make your insecurities rise to the surface from time to time, I?d be concerned. It?s not natural. People say that love should be easy, but let?s face it, it is not easy by any stretch of the imagination.

When these wounded moments arrive, as they surely will, try to see the situation as an opportunity to release the things that have held you back in the past. Name what you are feeling when your wounds surface. Fear of vulnerability, fear of intimacy, fear of rejection, and fear of abandonment, come up for most of us at one time or another. This is part of being human and nothing that we should be avoiding. If we avoid processing the feelings, we will never get past them.

Once you know what the wound is, walk right through it. Walk through your fear of being close to someone. Just acknowledge it?s presence and keep on moving forward. Don?t shrink back from the uncomfortable emotions. Once you allow yourself to walk through the wounds, you will see that you are strong enough to endure them, and they will lose their power over you.

~Practice the Golden Rule~

How many times did we hear from our parents when we were growing up recite the Golden Rule? "Do unto others, as you would like to have done to you." Makes sense doesn?t it? But yet we do not always practice it, particularly when it comes to our romantic partners.

Think about the other person. Think about their feelings, their history, their wounds, and their visions, besides your own. Do things in the spirit of love, forgiveness, and understanding.

~Get A Daily Dose Of Spirit~

In the past, I?ve been most likely to throw my spiritual values out the window when I got romantically involved with someone. I wanted to do it my way, not God?s way. His way after all, might mean the relationship wouldn?t fit the mold of what I thought it should be.

I?ve learned to do things differently recently. My spiritual life comes first. This key helps all the other key principles mentioned above work in sync together. Believing in a power that is bigger then yourself and believing that this universe is perfect, no matter how terrible it may look at times, will help make inner peace a regular part of your daily experience. Peace will prevail in life and relationships, instead of fear. Definitely something exciting to strive for. Conclusion:

Whew! Love sure is challenging. In fact, many of us may wonder if it is worth it at times, especially after most of us have experienced painful breakups and/or divorces at one time or another. It is difficult enough to navigate around our own emotions & experiences, none the less navigate around someone else's. But as the saying goes, "good things never come easy", and love is the best of all things.

Connections with other human beings, particularly our most intimate of relationships, is the true substance of life. In the end, it is what really matters. I don?t' believe we are born into this world just to run scared from love, wear nice clothes, and pay our bills on time. There's just got to be more.

We are meant to experience the fullness of life, including romantic relationships, and we are born wired with the ability to do so. Believe in your ability to navigate the challenging terrains of romantic relationships. We all just need to find the courage to swim in the mystery of it all, to let go, and to love.

 

HOW DO WE THINK OF OUR DADDY AT DIFFERENT AGES

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