THE TWO PARENTS ENTERS A NEW RELATIONSHIP?

CHILD UNDER TRIAL

 

HOW COMFORTABLE IS THE CHILD IF EITHER OF THE TWO PARENTS ENTERS A NEW RELATIONSHIP?

 

If Life were to be a cinematic romance, complications would have inhabited some unknown planet.  Think Michael Hoffiman’s One fine day, a film about two divorced individuals who realize they are made for each other within 16-odd hours.  But the time the film ends the kids of both the protagonists have approved of the relationship.  That is perfection in its ideal state of being – pure bliss.

 

Cut to real life, in one house, a child is confounded whenever the father argues with his wife because of his friendliness with another woman.  Though he loves his dad, the kid has no idea why he rarely comes home.  He also can’t understand why he leaves the house whenever the woman’s car stops outside, leaving him with his mother.  Slowly, the child retreats into a cocoon of self imposed solitude.  He starts hating his father’s friend without knowing why?

 

In another case, a lady takes her child with he whenever she goes to meet her boyfriend.  Although both try to conceal their relationship, the kid figures out what’s going on.  After that happens, it just cannot stand the guy.  Elsewhere, two kids are decanted into the unknown after their mother divorces their alcoholic dad.  When the woman finds another man later, they cannot accept him.  Both are carrying a baggage of memories, That hurts.

 

Although a child of divorced parents doesn’t feel socially inferior any more, can it be comfortable if either of the two parents enters a new relationship? “When the child is very yong, it may not understand.  Bit if it is grown up, the relationship between either of the two parents and the new person matters a lot.”

 

If it is more than five years old, everything depends on how the parent can explain to the child.  If it gets due importance, things become fine in nine out of 10 cases when it has to accept a new father. While accepting a new mother, the problem become complex more often.  The dislike is a lot more, because fathers generally have a tendency of not speaking to the children but merely telling them.  Barring exceptions, the child suffers from a greater emotional void because of the man’s approach.

 

Once a new person reconstructs the family equation, the family equation, the child at times is completely indifferent. It is so used to complete domination that it gives up on life.  If either of the two parents is an alcoholic, the acceptance levels in a child are very low.  It is so busy typing up the loose ends of the previous relationship that adjustment problems become serious.

 

Once trapped a situational quagmire, the child gets baffled.  If old enough, the reality sinks in.  But how well it can adjust unusually depends on how both the new person and the biological parent guide its mind in the journey towards acceptance.  That isn’t easy, but then, no story of real human relationships gets a new script in one fine day.