Nudging Without Nagging

-- Nudging Without Nagging

We've all been there. We want to encourage a child to do her
homework, or a spouse to complete his project, or a colleague to
complain less and act more. How can we encourage without criticizing,
berating or pushing too hard?

Here are three techniques that can help you nudge without nagging.

* Show appreciation.

Novelist Arnold Bennett had a publisher who boasted about the
extraordinary efficiency of his secretary. One day while visiting the
publisher's office, Bennett asked her: "Your boss claims you're
extremely efficient. What's your secret?"

"It's not my secret," said the assistant, "it's his." She went on to
tell him that her boss always acknowledged and appreciated everything
she did, regardless how insignificant. That was why she worked so
hard for him. Her boss' appreciation nudged her toward constant
improvement.

* If possible, keep it light-hearted.

The careful use of humor can work in any relationship where nudging
may be required. One wife used it effectively when she found herself
on the verge of nagging her husband to repair the lawn mower. He had
promised to fix it, but the grass grew ever taller while he
procrastinated.

Then one day he came home and found her seated on the ground snipping
grass with sewing scissors, one blade at a time. He watched in
amazement and then went into the house. When he returned, he handed
her a toothbrush. "Honey," he said, "when you finish cutting the
grass would you mind sweeping the sidewalks?"

They both laughed. And, more importantly, the mower was fixed.

* Be polite and respectful.

Sometimes it's more about how you say it than what you say. People
respond best when they are respected and valued.

Elizabeth Harrison stated, "Those who are lifting the world upward
and onward are those who encourage more than criticize." Try these
simple techniques next time you want to nudge without nagging.

~ Steve Goodier ~