Are You Spoiling Your Child?

Babies need to be loved and held, so if you pick her up when she cries, you are certainly not spoiling her. She may cry more frequently because she knows you will hold her, and this may be a little demanding on you, but other than this concern there should be no reason for you not to pamper your baby to your heart's content. However, once your child reaches the age of two you would do well to be a little less indulgent.
 

"I don't like saying 'no' to my child."

 

 

Parents feel that their children may start loving them less if they say 'no' too often, and tend to give in to their child's every demand. This is a surefire way of spoiling your child. Instead of giving in to your child's demand at once or instantly refuting it, find a middle path. Speak to your child about what he wants, ask him why he wants it, and if you feel his demand is justified, then let him know the reasons you believe your child can have what he wants. Let your child be aware of the cost, and let him know that he has to behave in a certain way before he gets it. 

 

 

Thus, though it isn't wise to refuse all your child's demands because it does hinder their self-confidence, you should avoid fulfilling all your child's demands immediately. Every once in a while you could ask your child to earn something that he wants in some way. Use gifts as incentives for your child to perform better, after all, that is the way life works and it helps if your child gets used to this at the outset. 

 

 

Encourage your child to take up a part-time job when he is still young. While this is not so much the practice in India, it does wonders to develop a child's personality and make him more independent. It also helps him realize the value of money. If you have a family business, you could take him to the office and make him help out by doing clerical work. If your teenager wants to work as a salesperson in a shop, your first instinct may be to discourage it, but let your child do so for a few months, over the summer vacation. Summer jobs should always be encouraged. 

 

"I want my child to enjoy luxuries that I didn't have."

 

 

Many parents, especially those didn't have many luxuries when growing up, want their children to enjoy the wealth that they worked so hard for. If you give your child everything he wants on demand, he will grow up believing the world owes him a living, and will find it hard to cope when realizes it doesn't.  

 

"I avoid discussing money with my child."

 

 

Speak to your children about money, and make them aware of the true situation. Don't try and fool them into thinking you have less or more than you actually have. Often parents refuse to discuss how much they make with their children, which is not necessarily a good idea. If you let your child know how much you and your wife make, it gives him a better picture of the family finances, and it also helps him appreciate the value of money. Simply passing a vague statement like "You don't have to worry about it," is not the best way of handling this situation. Discuss money, household expenditure, salaries to staff and investments, with your children.